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Van Gogh's Fantasies of Replacement: Being a Double and a Twin — Blum 57 6: 1311 — Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association
I love this one!
Last week I had the pleasure of talking with Kim Iverson of Your Time with Kim on her syndicated radio program, broadcast in nine metro areas. We talked about some misconceptions out there about replacement children and how parents can avoid some of the negative effects on children they decide to have after losing a child. Briefly, we touched on the Travolta/Preston news that they are expecting–wishing them the best with adding to their family.
You can listen to this latest discussion here. Thanks for tuning in! Let me know your thoughts about it on the blog.
Reading the news that John Travolta and Kelly Preston are expecting a baby a little over a year after the death of their 16-year old son Jett made me think of my own parents’ decision to have another child after losing their eldest daughter. I am that ‘replacement child’ and though many people don’t like the term–it doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
John Travolta and Kelly Preston can prepare to welcome this new child into their family as a unique individual and cherished addition to their family. With awareness of some of the possible pitfalls, Travolta and Preston can mitigate possible negative effects of being a replacement child as their child grows up. … Read more
This Father’s Day I’m choosing to focus on the letters my father wrote to me in his later years. Those are the thoughts and feelings I want to remember as his true ones–the ones he submerged for most of my childhood. For some reason, it was only in written form that my dad could tell me how he felt about me. I’m grateful he found a way, otherwise I would have always felt that his distant attitude toward me was the only truth of our relationship.
If you’ve read Replacement Child, you’ll recognize parts of the following from Chapter Fifty-Six in the book:
I’m reading through letters from my father.… Read more
I’ve been trying to think of anything but this to write about on my blog, but with my sister Linda’s birthday coming tomorrow, my mind and heart are full of her. She would have been 61 this June 15th, 2010 and I would never have imagined her not making it to this day. If you’ve read any of my work, and especially Replacement Child, you know what a special woman she was. But, I can’t help feeling that whatever I’ve written about her, I haven’t done justice to her bravery, her humor, her loving spirit.
She was always my big sister–looking out for me in her own way. … Read more
Another interesting facet of the ‘replacement child’ discussion is the idea of expanding the term to include the child who is born after a mentally or physically challenged child. In some families, the subsequent child may be looked upon to live out the hopes and dreams that parents had for the first child–that were thwarted when they discovered the child’s disability. I hadn’t specifically thought about this until a friend, psychotherapist Elayne Savage, PhD, brought up the topic when we spoke today. She has had a good deal of experience treating adults who identify with being a replacement child, and says that replacing a living sibling in this way can have similar impact with regard to identity and rejection issues.… Read more
I scheduled a flight this year on the 58th anniversary of the plane crash that took my sister’s life, changed the lives of everyone in my family, and was the very reason I was born. Usually, my sister Linda would have sent me a warning email or called me to tell me not to plan a flight on this day. But, she’s gone now, so no warnings came when I planned this trip to LA for a book signing.
It was the last actual booksigning scheduled for the launch of Replacement Child, and I made it into a mini vacation for me and my husband to explore California together a bit. … Read more