Replacement children

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A Psychoanalyst’s View of the Replacement Child

butterfliesRecently, I had the good fortune of speaking at length with psychoanalyst Kristina Schellinski about her in-depth work with replacement children in her practice.

Kristina Schellinski has an M.A. in Political Science and Literature. She worked for the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) in New York and Geneva from 1983-1998 and received her Diploma as Jungian Psychoanalyst and Psychotherapist from the C.G. Jung Institute in Zürich in 2002. She practices as a Jungian Analyst in Geneva, Switzerland. She is a training analyst and supervisor at ISAP (International School of Analytical Psychology), Zürich and a member of IAAP, AGAP, ASP and EAP, the Swiss and European Association of Psychotherapists, and a founding member of the Rencontres Jungiennes at Lavigny, Switzerland.… Read more

Replacement Children Show Up Everywhere #RCmandel

cropped-DSC_1967.jpgWhen I am deep into my recurring fantasy of becoming a guitar virtuoso and studying new chord progressions and fingerings, I hear guitar licks everywhere. On the radio, at the mall, in elevators. That Am7 sounds so great after a D—why didn’t I ever think of that? I get out my binoculars at Eric Clapton and Bonnie Raitt concerts to watch their hands fly down the fret board and see whether they are using a flat pick or a bottleneck.

If I am on a cooking jag, I notice the ingredients in every meal I order at a restaurant. Oh, they’re using saffron in this.… Read more

An Interview That Made Me Think

Last week I had a conversation with Dr. Abigail Brenner, who blogs for Psychology Today, about her experiences with replacement children, and mine being one. Although I’ve written a great deal about the topic, our conversation brought up some new insights for me. You can read it on the Psychology Today site here.

 

Carl Gustav Jung on the replacement child

carl_jung-glassesJung was a replacement child

Carl Gustav Jung was born on July 26, 1875 after his mother Emilie mourned the deaths of three children: a daughter stillborn on July 19,1870, a second daughter stillborn on April 3, 1872 and a son named Paul named after his father, born on August 18, 1873 who died five days later.(Deirdre Bair, Jung, A Biography, 2004, p. 18)

“I know only that I am without knowing what I am” (p. 304, Red Book)

“I feel very strongly that I am under the influence of things or questions which were left incomplete and unanswered by my parents and grandparents and more distant ancestors.… Read more

Ok, Universe, I’m Paying Attention — Now Stop It!

web-size-19351.jpgI am not by nature superstitious. In fact, I’ve been known to book airline tickets for the very date that a plane crashed into my family’s home many years ago.

But this year, January 22 made me stop in my tracks. There seemed to be a plethora of horrific events. I first heard about the shooting at a Texas community college mid afternoon, and was actually relieved to hear that it was not another mass shooting and no one was killed, although several were injured by gunfire. Apparently a shoot out that left more questions than answers.

In my home state of Connecticut, where we need no more bad news, a small plane crashed in Danbury.… Read more

January 22 Marks 61st Anniversary of New Jersey Plane Crash

This coming week, on January 22, marks the 61st anniversary of the plane crash in Elizabeth, New Jersey that killed my sister Donna and gravely injured my other sister, Linda. It is also the central incident of my memoir, Replacement Child, coming out in March from Seal Press.

As you might suspect, it’s a day that weighs heavily on me each year as I think about how the accident changed the lives of my family, and even led to my very existence. But, this year, I’ve been drawn to focus on the many other lives that were changed by this accident.… Read more

The Next Big Thing – Blog Hop

Hop on the Blog Hop for The Next Big Thing!

Well, this is fun! And, great for those of you looking for the next big thing for your reading life. I’m proud to be able to tell you about my book coming out in March, and to spread the word about new upcoming works, and works in progress from writers I admire. Follow the blog train and I’m sure you’ll find something that will interest you now, or to look for in the future.

Thanks so much to Sande Boritz Berger for tagging me for The Next Big Thing.

Check out her blog and learn about her upcoming work at http://sandeboritzberger.wordpress.comRead more

Grieving, Subsequent Children, and the Replacement Child, After the Death of a Child

Abigail Brenner, M.D.Guest interview with Abigail Brenner, M.D.

I conducted this interview with Abigail Brenner, M.D., several weeks ago. It now seems to have a new relevance in light of the Newtown tragedy as I asked her the questions I so often hear concerning replacement children.

Dr. Brenner is a psychiatrist in private practice. A board certified psychiatrist in practice for more than 30 years, Dr. Brenner is a Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. Her work has focused on understanding change and the challenges and opportunities afforded by change in relationship to major life transitions. She is the author of Transitions: How Women Embrace Change and Celebrate Life, SHIFT: How to Deal When Life Changes, and co-author of The Essential Guide to Baby’s First Year (Alpha Books, a member of the Penguin Group).… Read more

Getting a Book Deal After Self-Publishing

Check out my guest post on Jane Friedman’s great site:

“Flight” Put Me in the Cockpit of 6780

My parents' home just after the plane crashI had a visceral reaction to the beginning of the superb film, Flight, while the pilot (Denzel Washington), struggled to keep his plane in the air after a mechanical failure. I’m sure many moviegoers felt the tension and related to the panic of the passengers, but I believe something else was also at work here for me personally.

Spoiler alert for the rest of this post, in case you haven’t yet seen this terrific movie.

I thought immediately of all the people who would be devastated by the crash, by the deaths of however many people might die in the plane or on the ground.… Read more